{"id":24212,"date":"2015-11-21T00:10:38","date_gmt":"2015-11-21T00:10:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.josh.org\/main\/?p=24212"},"modified":"2025-07-25T13:21:46","modified_gmt":"2025-07-25T18:21:46","slug":"the-power-of-love-seeing-is-believing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites-stage.josh.org\/main\/the-power-of-love-seeing-is-believing\/","title":{"rendered":"The Power of Love: Seeing is Believing"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"seeingTeaching our kids the truth \u2013 what is right and what is wrong \u2013 within the context of relationships is vital. Our young people will most likely need to correct various behaviors and patterns as they grow and mature, i.e. \u2013 avoid pornography and resist sexual pressure \u2013 and they will be much more receptive to that instruction and, in fact, empowered to live according to those instructions as they sense your unfailing love. But they need more than to feel your love; they need to see that love lived out before them.
\nThe apostle John said, \u201cLet\u2019s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions\u201d (1 John 3:18). For our kids to embrace our beliefs, adopt our values and make right moral choices, they need to also see truth modeled in our own lives.
\nWhen we (Josh & I) saw unhealthy attitudes or wrong actions in our children, we, of course, corrected them. But we learned that our efforts really weren\u2019t effective unless our kids could answer yes to three very important questions. Their answers told us whether we were being the right kind of model or not. For example, when I saw something that Kelly did wrong that definitely needed to be addressed, I would ask these questions:1. Kelly, do you know that I love you?
\n2. Do you know that I love your father?
\n3. When you get married, do you want in marriage and love and sex and family life what I have with your dad and you kids?
\nIf Kelly would answer \u201cyes\u201d to each of those questions, I knew I was in a great position to guide her. I could say, \u201cKelly what you are doing can rob you in the future of the kind of things you see me enjoying in my own marriage.\u201d Because Kelly was seeing a model of relationships she could believe in, she was far more receptive to my instructions. If our kids don\u2019t see it, it will be hard for them to believe it.
\nThe apostle Paul said, \u201cPattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example\u201d (Philippians 3:17). The word \u201cexample\u201d in the Greek is tupos<\/em>, which means a pattern or model to be replicated or reproduced. Paul was saying that his life was a model to be followed.
\nYour life and ours are also to be a model for our kids to follow. No, we aren\u2019t perfect. In fact, there is no such thing as perfect parents. But even in our imperfections we can model humility and be people who seek forgiveness when we\u2019re wrong.
\nI (Dottie) remember a time when Josh and I were in a heated discussion in earshot of the kids. At one point in the argument Josh got quite animated. He threw a folder down on the table and said, \u201cI\u2019m out of here.\u201d He then stormed out the door and drove off. And none of this went unnoticed by the rest of the family.
\nBut it wasn\u2019t long before Josh was back. He called everyone in for a meeting. In front of all the kids he told me how wrong he had been. He said he was sorry that he hurt me emotionally and sought my forgiveness. He then turned to the kids and told how disrespectful he had been to their mother and sought the kids\u2019 forgiveness, too. Now, Josh\u2019s earlier actions were far from a perfect model, but he was, nonetheless a great model of what you do when you blow it.
\nBelieve it or not, your young people need to see you fail and humbly seek forgiveness as well as see you as a model of right living. Paul explained how he had brought people to God \u201cby my message and by the way I lived before them\u201d (Romans 15:18, NLT). It takes both our words of truth within the context of relationships and our lives as a model. We \u201cshow the truth by our actions\u201d (1 John 3:18).<\/p>\n