{"id":52473,"date":"2020-02-25T15:03:01","date_gmt":"2020-02-25T21:03:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites-stage.josh.org\/main\/?p=52473"},"modified":"2025-08-06T12:36:04","modified_gmt":"2025-08-06T17:36:04","slug":"love-lost-its-beauty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites-stage.josh.org\/main\/love-lost-its-beauty\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Lost its Beauty"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A few years ago my sister walked up to me on the campus of Liberty University, seeking comfort from her older brother. A magician had just attempted to manipulate a kiss from her via his magic trick.<\/h3>\n

She came to me for safety and protection. But as I heard her story, I felt no emotion. Does that sound off to you? I mean, big brothers are supposed to be protective of their sisters, right? But in hearing that some guy had tried to kiss my sister, I honestly felt nothing. I remember thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the big deal? It\u2019s just a kiss.<\/em><\/span>\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

My years of watching pornography had desensitized me to healthy love. Love lost its beauty.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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\"Love<\/p>\n

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For 50+ years, Josh McDowell<\/span><\/a> Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God\u2019s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research<\/span><\/a> to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Love: A Chemical Reaction?<\/h2>\n

When I first heard <\/span>Josh McDowell speak on love<\/span>, he claimed that it\u2019s just a chemical reaction. That didn\u2019t sit right with me, as I thought love was the good feeling we get when we really like someone. It felt like the word \u201cchemical\u201d took the emotion out of it.\u00a0<\/span>
\nBut Josh is right; we feel the emotion of love <\/span>because of a chemical response<\/i>. When we feel incredible joy, excitement, or sadness, it\u2019s because of a release of chemicals in our brain.<\/span>
\nTake the chemical, dopamine<\/a><\/strong>, for example. Dopamine is known as a pleasure chemical. When we satisfy a craving for hunger, or are complimented for doing something well, this feel-good chemical is released in our brain. This makes us feel great. Likewise, when we kiss, hug, or have sex, dopamine is released.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Many mental health disorders are linked to too much or too little dopamine in different parts of the brain. Dopamine can fuel addiction.<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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The Big Problem<\/b><\/h2>\n

But here\u2019s an interesting fact: the chemicals in our brains that produce bonding, good feelings, or love, are morally neutral<\/span>. That\u2019s right, the chemicals in your brain lack a moral code.\u00a0That means they don\u2019t know the difference between sex in a loving marriage relationship — or rape.
\nWhich is why we have to tell our brains what is and is not acceptable. What is right and what is wrong. Otherwise dopamine and other chemicals will have free reign to lead us where we have no business going — whether that’s consuming too many cookies in one sitting, or developing a habit of porn.<\/span>
\nI remember the first time I saw porn. It was in my neighbor\u2019s basement. I was in kindergarten. I felt repulsed — as I should have<\/i>. But in choosing to return to porn years later, those repulsive images became pleasurable<\/em> to me. <\/em><\/strong>
\nRepeated porn viewing creates an addiction to see more. As the dopamine overpowered my repulsion, I began to associate pornography with pleasure. My brain was being rewired and desensitized. I allowed this ugly habit to grow bigger because seeing the graphic images felt good<\/em> — even though I knew<\/i>, from my Christian upbringing, that it wasn\u2019t good for me.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Our brain likes pleasure. So if something feels good, we tend to return to it for more of that good feeling.\u00a0<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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After gaining pleasure from seeing so many horrific pornographic images, my brain viewed porn as normal. So, by the time my sister came running to me for empathy, I had none to give her. Watching porn had totally skewed my view of physical touch.<\/span>
\nI had begun to think of women as <\/span>objects <\/i>for my pleasure, and that sexual acts outside of marriage weren\u2019t all that bad. This became scary to me, because my parents had raised me with this truth: sex is God\u2019s beautiful design to cement a couple\u2019s love inside of marriage.<\/p>\n

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What\u2019s your view of sex and love? Ask yourself these questions:<\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\n